- Carol Ann Neil
- September 4, 2023
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: Best Ways To Start
So you want to know how to stop comparing yourself to others?
Ever catch yourself comparing your job title with a colleague’s, feeling a tad envious or wondering if you’re on the right path? Or perhaps you’ve squandered precious time diving deep into someone’s social media feeds, analysing their holidays, parties, or accomplishments? Welcome to the “comparison game” my friend
The funny thing is, a lot of people, even the ones you least expect, get ensnared by this all-consuming comparison trap. It’s a deceptive pitfall that distorts our view of our own achievements. Yet, while the habit of comparison might seem deeply ingrained, there’s a surefire way to break free.
Today is the day for a fresh start! Dive into this uplifting guide to stop the lurking habit of comparison and embark on the journey to living your absolute best life
1. Recognise the Comparison Trap
How to stop comparing yourself to others by identifying the signs
The first step in navigating this maze is truly understanding and admitting you’re engrossed in the comparison game. At its core, it’s human nature to compare our lives with others. Interestingly, this isn’t always a bad thing. For instance, a recent study shedding light on the social comparison theory elucidated that we indulge in both upward comparisons, where we might feel someone else’s grass is greener, and downward comparisons, where we reassure ourselves that we’re in a better place.
However, the hard thing is to differentiate between the two and grasp their impact on our psyche. Recognising which type of comparison you’re making is not just insightful, but essential for personal growth.
Our surroundings, culture, and even evolutionary factors have conditioned us to consistently evaluate our standing in society. This natural inclination, however, can either be a catalyst for motivation or a deterrent to our self-esteem, depending on how we approach it. The true mastery lies in harnessing the power of comparison for positive reinforcement and personal growth while avoiding its pitfalls.
By consistently practicing this self-awareness, you not only free yourself from the clutches of the comparison game but also steer your mind towards a more constructive and affirmative outlook. Remember, the journey towards self-awareness and contentment is ongoing, but with each step, you get closer to truly embracing and celebrating your unique journey.
2. Social Media: The Highlight Reel
How to differentiate real life from the 'highlight reels' and stop comparing yourself to others on social media
Remember, people’s lives on social media are often a ‘highlight reel.’ For every good book showcased or new house celebrated, there are unseen bad days and personal struggles lurking behind. Take a mental note: these platforms rarely, if ever, show the complete picture of anyone’s life. If you find this constant influx challenging your mental health, a social media detox can be a breath of fresh air.
Embarking on this break can offer a rejuvenating perspective shift – and trust us, you will be so glad you did
3. Practice Gratitude
Starting a gratitude journal is kind of like giving your brain a friendly nudge, saying, “Hey, look at all the cool stuff happening in our life!” By jotting down the good things, you’ll soon realize how much awesome stuff happens every day that you might’ve just zoomed past. It’s really an eye-opening experience.
Writing about the positive aspects daily is like wearing a new pair of glasses that spot all the hidden gems. Trust me, you’ll be surprised at how much you’ve been missing out on. So, from that hilarious joke a friend shared to the comfort of your favourite hoodie, the best things are often the little moments.
Every time you add to your gratitude journal, it’s a reminder to high-five yourself for the great bits in your life. It’s all about changing your perspective and being grateful for the little things. Give it a shot; you’ll be so glad you did!
4. Shift the Focus: Your Own Journey
And stop comparing yourself to others
Comparison puts a lens on the lives of others, making it super easy to feel like you’re always lacking something or missing out. But here’s the deal: the best way to feel genuinely happy and content is to zoom in on your own journey. Remember the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy”? It’s spot on. When you keep comparing to everyone else, it will hold you back from seeing how awesome you’re doing on your own path
The only person worth comparing yourself to? That’s your past self. Think about where you were last year or even a month ago and celebrate the progress you’ve made. By keeping the focus on your own growth and goals, you’ll feel more fulfilled and less like something’s missing
5. Balance Your View
It’s crucial to develop a balanced view of others. Regardless of job title or the number of categories they seem to shine in, everyone has their own set of hiccups. They’ve got their own flaws and face hurdles just like everyone else. It’s easy to think the grass is always greener on the other side, but that’s often just an illusion. When you really understand that everyone’s dealing with something, you’ll start making fewer unfair comparisons.
And guess what? That does wonders for your self esteem. Instead of always feeling a step behind, you’ll realize we’re all in this together, each figuring stuff out at our own pace
6. Positive Affirmations and Mindset
We all have those days when negative thoughts try to take the wheel. Maybe it’s about body comparisons, wondering if we have enough money, or doubting our place in the world. But here’s the cool part: positive affirmations are like the superheroes of our minds, swooping in to save the day! Each time a negative thought tries to creep in, counteract it with a positive affirmation.
Tell yourself, “I’m doing my best, and every action step I take is getting me closer to my goals.” Remember, you’re always moving forward, even when it doesn’t feel like it. And, fun fact: thinking positively can give you those feel-good vibes, thanks to endorphins. So, swap out the negativity for a mindset that’s headed in the right direction, and ride that wave of positivity!
7. Seek Out Real Life
How to seek real-life connections and stop comparing yourself to others in the digital world
The digital realm can suck you in, but there’s a whole vibrant world outside waiting for you! By spending less time glued to screens and more time living real life, you’ll find there’s so much more fun to be had. Build those strong relationships, whether it’s catching up over coffee or simply enjoying a walk in the park. Dive into a good book and let it transport you to another world.
Take time to be your own best friend; pamper yourself, explore new hobbies, or just observe the world around you – it can be incredibly eye-opening. Remember, while online platforms offer a glimpse into others’ lives, often it’s a skewed view, which feeds into the comparison game.
But when you actively engage with the world, the negative effects of those comparisons fade, and you’re left with genuine experiences that truly matter. So, step out, look around, and cherish the real-life moments!
8. Talk to Someone
When the walls of the comparison trap start closing in, reaching out can be the best way to find some breathing space. Grabbing a coffee or just going for a walk with a close friend can do wonders. It’s not just about venting, but socialising can give you that much-needed reality check. Your friends might point out the positive aspects of your life that you’ve been totally missing. You know the saying, “a problem shared is a problem halved”? There’s a lot of truth to that.
By stepping into the real world and chatting about your feelings, you not only get an outsider’s perspective but also realise that everyone has their own struggles. So, the next time you’re feeling stuck, remember there’s always someone out there willing to lend an ear and help you see things in a brighter light.
9. Celebrate Personal Growth
Ditch the urge to always measure up and instead, double down on celebrating your personal growth. Think about it: playing the endless comparison game is like running on a treadmill – lots of effort but you don’t really get anywhere. Instead, focus on taking small steps daily to better yourself. It might be reading a new book, learning a hobby, or just being kinder to yourself.
Next time the urge to compare strikes, pause and think: “Am I better than I was last year? Or even the last time I felt this way?” Chances are, you’ve grown in ways you haven’t even noticed. Give yourself a pat on the back!
It’s so easy to overlook our progress in the hustle and bustle, but you have likely achieved much more than you even realise. So, go ahead, be proud of yourself. You’re doing amazing, and that’s the only comparison worth your time
10. Seek Inspiration Over Comparison
Seeing successful people in their prime can be both motivating and a tad intimidating. But here’s a switch in perspective: instead of measuring yourself against them, why not let their journey light a fire in you? Think of it this way – every success story you hear can be a source of inspiration, showing you what’s possible with a mix of passion, dedication, and, yep, hard work.
While it’s super cool to admire the highs, it’s also essential to remember that these folks have had their share of bad days too. So, instead of letting envy creep in, be happy for others and their accomplishments. Let their wins give you confidence in yourself and take inspiration to craft your own unique success story. After all, cheering on others and drawing strength from their journey is a win-win!
11. Practice Regular Mindfulness
Meditation isn’t just sitting silently (although that’s a part of it); it’s also about building a regular practice that strengthens your positive mindset. By setting aside moments each day to tune inwards, you’ll find that those pesky negative comparisons start to lose their grip.
With every mindful moment, you’ll spend less time, yes, your valuable time, being weighed down by needless comparisons. And here’s the bonus: as you focus on nurturing a positive mindset, you’ll find yourself becoming happier in many ways.
It’s like decluttering your mind and making more space for the good stuff! So, why wait? Dive into mindfulness and see how it transforms your outlook.
12. Take Action!
How to take charge, make improvements, and stop comparing yourself to others by crafting your path
Instead of gazing longingly at the green grass on the other side, roll up your sleeves and nurture your own lawn. Why dream about a better tomorrow when you can start creating it today? The truth is, the only person who can change things is you. Instead of getting caught up in what others are doing, focus on laying down your own tracks.
Inject that much effort and hard work into building your dreams, and soon enough, you’ll find yourself on the fast track of your own life. And here’s a little nudge: don’t wait until next week or the next “perfect” moment. The best time to start making a change? Start today, better yet, start right now. Your future self will thank you for it!
Conclusion
In our interconnected world, with constant updates from everyone and everywhere, feeling the pull of comparison seems inevitable. But here’s the cool part: with the practical ways outlined above, you can switch gears and really zoom in on living your best life.
It might sound simple, but it’s effective: every time that sneaky comparison feeling creeps in, take a moment. Make a mental note, or even jot it down on a slip of paper. This regular practice isn’t just about keeping score; it’s about recognizing patterns that hold you back. And once you spot them? You can start taking control.
Say goodbye to imposter syndrome and embrace the fact that you deserve it just as much as anyone else. After all, why spend your time living in someone else’s shadow when there are so many great things about you? It’s high time you celebrate yourself, cherish every achievement, and every lesson
Here’s to kicking off a new chapter, where you’re not just existing, but thriving as the best version of yourself! Because you truly deserve it
